Conflict Competence Guide
Before a conflict, begin with reflection questions.
- How do I want to be viewed when the conflict is over?
- What cues indicate that conflict was about to erupt?
- What behaviors or statements by others trigger my anger?
- How can I describe my feelings in words that are informative and yet cast no blame?
- What is at the root of this conflict?
During a conflict, try to remain calm and focus on core skills.
- Building relationships – dynamic listening, reflecting thinking, criticizing constructively
- Managing emotions – taking time outs, controlling anger, reaching out, expressing emotions
- Resolving conflict – taking action, cooperating & being flexible, creating solutions & collaborating
- Accepting conflict – realistic & confident self-appraisal, adapting, contemplating alternatives, evaluating career and well-being
After a conflict, assess yourself and learn for future interactions.
- What did I do well? What areas still need improvement?
- How will others view me and my actions?
- Are changes necessary in the decisions I made during the conflict?
- Did my body language and nonverbal cues express my unspoken emotions?
- Were needs met – mine as well as others?