Conflict Resilience Quiz
For each of the statements below, indicate how true the statement is for you on a scale of 1 to 5. Add your scores together and check the scoring key below to determine the level of your conflict resilience.
1 = Less True 5 = More True
After interpersonal conflicts, I tend to:
_____ Recover quickly; I do not worry, agonize, or stay preoccupied with what the other person said or did that offended me.
_____ Forgive; I do not bear a grudge about the other person and what s/he said or did.
_____ Reflect on what I learned from the conflict that will help me manage future disagreements.
_____ Reach out to make amends with the other person.
_____ Take responsibility for my part of the conflict and consider what I may have done differently.
_____ Keep my side of the story to myself so as not to share it with others in self-serving and distorted ways.
_____ Feel hopeful that things will be better; I consider how I will try to make that happen.
_____ Move on; I don’t see myself as a victim or feel sorry for myself.
_____ Let it go; I don’t continue to perceive the other person in negative ways.
_____ Keep quiet; I don’t bad-mouth the other person in front of others.
_____ Identify what may have been important to the other person that I did not realize before.
_____ Apologize for my part of the conflict.
_____ Better appreciate and understand the other person’s perspective on the issues, even if I don’t agree with it.
_____ Forgive myself; I don’t criticize myself, blame myself, or engage in other self-deprecating behaviors about what I did or said (or didn’t say or do).
_____ Let go of blame; I don’t fault the other person for what s/he did or said (or didn’t say or do).
15-39: You probably run from conflict! We highly recommend further skill-building in this area.
40-54: Your conflict resilience quotient is low, and we recommend.
55-69: You are conflict resilient, with a few areas where you could strengthen your skills even more.
70-75: You are definitely conflict resilient. Great job! You are a model for others.
Adapted from Cinery Coaching