Conflict Resilience Quiz

For each of the statements below, indicate how true the statement is for you on a scale of 1 to 5. Add your scores together and check the scoring key below to determine the level of your conflict resilience.

1 = Less True                                       5 = More True

After interpersonal conflicts, I tend to:

_____ Recover quickly; I do not worry, agonize, or stay preoccupied with what the other person said or did that offended me.

_____ Forgive; I do not bear a grudge about the other person and what s/he said or did.

_____ Reflect on what I learned from the conflict that will help me manage future disagreements.

_____ Reach out to make amends with the other person.

_____ Take responsibility for my part of the conflict and consider what I may have done differently.

_____ Keep my side of the story to myself so as not to share it with others in self-serving and distorted ways.

_____ Feel hopeful that things will be better; I consider how I will try to make that happen.

_____ Move on; I don’t see myself as a victim or feel sorry for myself.

_____ Let it go; I don’t continue to perceive the other person in negative ways.

_____ Keep quiet; I don’t bad-mouth the other person in front of others.

_____ Identify what may have been important to the other person that I did not realize before.

_____ Apologize for my part of the conflict.

_____ Better appreciate and understand the other person’s perspective on the issues, even if I don’t agree with it.

_____ Forgive myself; I don’t criticize myself, blame myself, or engage in other self-deprecating behaviors about what I did or said (or didn’t say or do).

_____ Let go of blame; I don’t fault the other person for what s/he did or said (or didn’t say or do).


15-39:            You probably run from conflict! We highly recommend further skill-building in this area.
40-54:            Your conflict resilience quotient is low, and we recommend.
55-69:            You are conflict resilient, with a few areas where you could strengthen your skills even more.
70-75:            You are definitely conflict resilient. Great job! You are a model for others.

Adapted from Cinery Coaching